"Captured Moments, Memories Forever"
This Life by Orla Bakeberg
13 July 2024
When I realised my existential questions on life and memories would go unanswered, I sought new ways to document them. I thought about other possible avenues to open the memory floodgates, to document special times that we lived, what we observed and what life experiences we had. Experiences like - where a person was when they fell in love? When they did something challenging and survived to tell the tale? Why they decided to leave a country they grew up in to start a new life!
I was too young to lose my inspirational mother, even though I had just turned 50 and had all of those years with her around. She had raised us well, passed on her adventurous spirit, her desire to live life to the full, while always being compassionate, caring and devoted. Yet I always had questions that I hadn’t thought of, until it was too late, until after she took her last difficult breath, as the emphysema had taken her form us. Just over three months later, my father joined her, his heart too broken and unable to keep going without his lifelong partner and soul mate; the light of his life. The pain for me was so tough, the loss happened too quickly, without warning and with no time to ask everything I felt I needed to know. That part of my heart suddenly emptied and my life ahead was now my entire responsibility, mine to continue, live and grow into.
This piece is not about that loss and is not a sob-story. It is a story of growth from the loss, part of the intertwined encircle of life and how it lies all around us. Through the loss of my parents, I discovered the essence of my writing, my words and also my photography. Throughout my life I have always scribbled, taking much joy in the scent of stationary shops, wondering what quirky little notebook I would buy from each one. I also envisioned myself as a photographer, starting out insisting people were always in the photo – to my young mind, why else would someone look at a photo, if somebody wasn’t in it to recognise and talk about?
My life experiences continued, from growing up on the sandy beaches of Brittas Bay in Wicklow, to being swept over 5000 miles away to South Africa, where I finished school and started my working life. I travelled the region and relocated for a number of years to Zimbabwe and then ventured to Botswana, where I met my soulmate, now my husband. While travelling, my photography grew, I sought beauty in what was outside in nature, no matter where I was, or what the view. Sunsets became my magnet – the powerful, rounding and grounding shades of orange bringing warmth to whatever had happened that day. Creating a new horizon for the following day ahead.
“Seeing the picture within the picture” is how my framing went and so the challenge began. As our eyes open, what we see is our immediate picture, the frame is drawn around whatever is in front of us. Do you ever look up and reframe your view? Or look down, really crouch down, and seek out something special to see beneath you? I do and it creates a whole new viewpoint, to appreciate and capture a moment and have it forever as a memory keepsake of that particular time in your life, that day.
Moving back to Ireland a few years ago was momentous on many levels. I had a whole new set of questions to ask for my parents, questions which would unfortunately never be answered. Reconnecting with my parent’s siblings and my cousins, created a new avenue for me to learn more about the life of our family. I felt a closeness which brought sadness and joy at the same time – I wanted so much to share my discoveries, my life journey with the two people who brought me into this world and moulded me into who I am today.
All of this made me realise that throughout our lives, we should be taught the value of asking, listening, learning and appreciating those closest to us, those within our immediate family. So, I asked more from those I connected with and then began to write my version of poetry, a version which is mostly based on memories, on facts, on stories, on life’s precious moments.
What a release, and such acknowledgement of what has gone before us, of what may still be around us today. All documented and there on paper, in print, on the screen, to continue the legacy of that very moment in somebody’s life. My photography also allowed me to create the imaginary space for writing, it encouraged acknowledgment with words, just like the, “picture is within the picture.” As I looked at some of my photos, some of the incredible moments captured forever, I began to write my own style of inspiring words, thoughts and affirmations.
My imagination is different to yours and yours is different to your friends, your family and so on. I encourage you to seek your picture, capture your moment and ask yourself, “What do I see right there, right now?” Continuously ask your family, friends, your lover, every question you have. When someone you love becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure, captured forever in a photograph, in a poem or a story in a book – never forgotten.
Orla Bakeberg McConnon, Author of ‘Life Threads’, published in 2023
www.orlaphotography.ie
